A Path To Finding Your Steady Feeling !

I had the opportunity to learn from one of the most prominent pieces of work on yoga, the notable scripture, The Bhagavad Gita referred also as The Gita. Gita means song. I spent several months on line with a teacher who brought the text to life and gave me a greater depth and understanding about life. The story in the song can be placed as a lens of how we are interacting with our own life. 

The course was designed to cover just Chapter 2 over 8 months, it begins with Arjuna the main character and greatest of warriors, full of sorrow, doubt and overwhelmed. It is most certainly a feeling we all have experienced. When life meets us at a crossroads, where there are very challenging situations, an awkward time of not knowing, feeling disturbed, uneasy in one’s self, a sense of loss. The familiarity with these feelings is part and parcel of the human condition. When everything we previously thought we knew falls into question, we doubt our abilities, we lose our composure and our ability to have clarity on a situation. 

In his sorrow, Arjuna’s mighty bow falls from his hands. His eyes are full of tears. He wants to know what to do, he is confused and lamenting. His sorrow is regarded as a prompt for change. We can no doubt remember a time in our own lives  that was sorrowful and alerted us that change was required. The change often requires us to act in a mental, physical and emotional sense. That alert is prompting us “to let go” of attachments “to our past, our future,  to those fears worries and anxieties”  

 Arjuna had always been the number one student in his archery capabilities and skills set, he was shown favouritism by his teachers, he was popular and loved dearly by the citizens of the Kingdom ruled by his father. He was the favourite and dutiful son.

The Gita’s knowledge is revealed to the reader in the beautiful poetry of the Song through the dialogue with Krishna  who is Arjuna’s greatest ally, friend and Guru. The setting is a battlefield in the ancient city of India Hastinapur. The physical thought of war, violence, death of the innocent is a difficult one for many to see it as a place of spiritual teaching and learning. Decoding the layers of the Song, we come to understand that the battlefield is a metaphor for the mind. As the saying goes “conquer your mind and you conquer your world.”

Every Thursday at my yoga class at Derby Arena, there seem to be forces beyond my control of the air con. It has become a battleground. I have repeatedly requested it to be off, as it makes the room too cold and noisy for our calming practices. I have at times been sorrowful, even despair as I have felt no one is listening to my concerns. We all have battles to face and this is just a small example.    

 When Arjuna looks out onto the battlefield, he sees the opposing army consisting of those most dear to him, his teachers, his family and friends. It is in Arjuna’s sorrow Krishna speaks saying that we are never alone, the inner pilot of consciousness, the inner voice, higher power, we can talk to if we can bring ourselves to tune in, be centred and quiet.

When I first met with Yoga it was on the mat, in the physical sense making shapes with my body, getting it flexible and toned. But overtime with great teachers, I came to an understanding that yoga gives us the practical knowledge to embark on a journey of self-realisation.  We all need purpose and fulfilment and this is the journey. 

Krishna reminds Arjuna he must put aside his sorrow so that he can rise up to his potential as a human being and carry out his duty as a true warrior, that he was always meant to be! 

In a sense we can all be regarded as warriors daily navigating the field of action in which we reside. The characters that Arjuna is required to defeat are representative of the characteristics of what is going on inside our minds and it is that what we need to defeat. 

I learnt a difficult lesson here, that in order to get on in life it will require us to detach from things that have been dear in this ever changing world. If we are unable to do so we will be overrun by the forces of limitation.

On a physical level our addictive habits creep in when we are less strong, ambushing us when we are weak. The mind being a creature of all our habits and everything that we have experienced. It is in silence that we can come to exit the mind, away from desires and fears then our true capacities can be realised. This subtle guidance arrives in the silence; in Yoga it is regarded as the divinity within where the gates of the inner wisdom open. It is the wisdom of the deepest part of the heart.  

In this world of action we experience duality, at the core of the duality concept is the idea that everything in the universe exists in complementary pairs- light and shadow, creation and destruction, male and female. These opposing forces aren’t just opposite they are interdependent. Without one the other cannot exist.  For instance, light only becomes meaningful when contrasted with darkness. This balance is what maintains the harmony. The text invites us to cultivate a steadiness by keeping a steady centre. The true magic comes from that steady balance, not from choosing one side of duality over the other. A balanced approach maintains one cannot reject the darkness in favour of the light. Instead, one learns to walk a middle path, harnessing both sides of every duality. This balance gives power to navigate the world of energy without being consumed by its opposing forces and this maintains our steady feeling. 

I hope you have enjoyed reading my small offering of the The Gita, more to be revealed….Namaste     

When was the last time you followed your heart and not your head?   

I got found out …

It was a cold October morning, the year 1983 I had been watching the news the night before, there had been a large protest march in London, Trident a nuclear programme in pretext for de-escalation of war and at the same time we were the studying the text 1984 by George Orwell in our
‘O’ Level Literature class, the novel grasped my mind of its rebellious nature.

At that time, I had some terrorising dreams where I was witnessing a huge explosion from some distance then a large plume of ash smoke, had woken me with a racing heart and troubled mind. We all know that well known vision of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the child burned, running half naked. These are chilling visions that have impregnated our psyche.

A combination of my environment and conscious mind had led me to participate in an unlawful act of graffiti on the school walls.

An act of defiance, my soul speaking to me of the unease and troubled feelings deep down, surfacing into what what thought would be a secretive action. My hands trembling as I chalked the walls at the back of the upper school with a huge circular movement to make the CND motif (The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament).

I had looked over my shoulder several times to make sure I was not seen. I had not confided in any of my friends, I was unable to explain or express how I was feeling. I just felt troubled, my heart stolen, a raw ache for harmony and peace. I felt horrible on the inside, not from the actions but how the environment made me feel.

Later from my learning in yoga I found the battle to find my steadiness was within, as the song goes, we have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, any escapism is temporary and we quickly go back to our old patterns of thoughts.

I was scratching the walls carefully over the rugged bricks with chalk acquired from my last English Language lesson, when Mr Broughton had thrown the chalk at Daniel. I recalled the lesson when the teacher had demeaned me in class with racist comments, reducing me to tears. School was not always the happiest of days …

The chalk now a stub, as I was about to etch in the third line. I felt I had every right to show my solidarity for peace, in this way. My breath falling into silence, facing the wall I noticed a shadow through my legs and then suddenly, a tap on my shoulder, it was Mr Kellogg the headmaster.

What were the chances, an unbelievable stroke of bad luck! Even to this day, I question how unlucky I was, my mission was supposed to have been swift. The back of the school being a popular spot allegedly a secret locus for smokers, snoggers and scrappers. So, I never went there. I felt robbed of my defiance and my moment of anarchy for a cause worth fighting reduced to a chastisement without being able to speak my truth, he shook his head looking at me as if I was the enemy.

I felt the pit of my stomach fill with dread, I did not know what would happen next, corporal punishment was still a possibility back then! My shoulders and head dropped, I felt a streak of guilt running into my body for my actions but not in my soul, my deeper self-longed for something else. My act of defiance infiltrated, my heart desire disturbed. Mr Kellogg did not ask any questions and bluntly said, “I have a job for you, come to my office.” There he handed me a sponge and bucket and curtly said “Clean the walls.”

During our yoga training our teacher, maintained the importance to remain apolitical. In principle I have done so as it allows the mind to remain settled, but it does not mean that one becomes robotic, really the opposite happens as your deeper parts of yourself are revealed. No longer hiding as your heart starts winning and the liberation of your soul starts unfolding and then you do not care so much about what people think of you, social expectations and start realising that we are all made of the same particles as the trees and the oceans, gathering a momentum where we can approach our self-realisation little by little, seeing the pulse of the universe mirroring our heartbeat as yoga is an expression of your deepest truest self.

When was the last time you followed your heart and not your head?

Just last week, it was The Spring Day Retreat at Nanapantan Hall, it is nestled in 22acres of the Charnwood Woods a perfect venue for a yoga retreat. During our sessions, we explored what it is to do yoga, we learnt about the cosmic dancer and symbolism of it, bringing our cosmic dance to life. Together we dined and enjoyed the delicious home cuisine prepared by my husband. Seemingly tantalising everyone’s taste buds, it was a lovely sight to see in the dining area. There we had splendid views of the sky, meadows, and gardens.

We prepared ourselves for the wintry weather and trekked into the woods and meadows. We experienced all the seasons in that hour, the blustery rain, hail stones, sunshine. We were unperturbed by it all and found ourselves harmonious with nature, the wild ponies moving gracefully between us, their friendliness and calm a feature of their stature. Seeing us as unthreatening they continued with their grazing. The afternoon session we settled back to learn about sound, vibration, and the energy centres. The sound of AUM filling the air complimented our slower paced session, making our way through the energy centres in colours and sounds. We completed our day with visualisations and a deep relaxation. I am very grateful to those who were able make it!
I have had some wonderful feedback and been asked several times when is the next one! Although it was tiring day as the teacher but it has given me confidence to do more


I hope you will join me for the next one…. Watch this space……