I had a friendly connection, with Pam. We were at Uni together on the same course. At that time, I was 19 she was a year younger, her birth sign Aries, I’m a Scorpio. It seemed to be a thing in those days when there was an exchange of birth signs and I suppose an ice breaker. I was a shy student, meeting my student life with some trepidation. I was not totally convinced I was on the correct trajectory with the course that I had chosen. But here I was and no going back at this point.  

Pam was a home student, her roots in Indian culture, I understood her. 

We spent many hours together. But we have not met in 20years. A lasting photo of us both (above) 

Memories of Pam were recently triggered whilst I was stripping wallpaper, the laborious continuum settling the mind and igniting the heart to speak. There I found myself intricately recalling past memories. So that evening I searched social media but found no trace, my heart sank.

A loss …how to we deal with them?  

Back in those days I knew nothing about Yoga although my sister had talked about Drew Yoga but in all honesty, it wasn’t anything of interest.

Yoga is often distorted and we consider it simply as a set of poses. But, there is something more beautiful happening.

The true measure of progress in Yoga lies in the inner transformation that occurs through dedicated practice. Advanced yoga is about how well you apply the teachings of yoga to your life, fostering personal evolution and contributing to the well-being of others, rather than simply showcasing physical feats.

What I have found with my practice that I have become more my authentic myself; this requires embracing the full spectrum of experiences – joy, pain, peace, and struggle. Authenticity in yoga means being honest with yourself and others about your journey, including the difficult parts.

There has been a cultivation of compassionate action, recognising the interconnectedness of all beings and the importance of addressing social injustices. 

Yoga is teaching us to act with compassion, which sometimes means confronting uncomfortable truths and working towards change.

The mind becomes sharper, balancing positivity with reality. While maintaining a positive outlook is valuable, it’s important to balance this with a willingness to face and address life’s challenges. Our true healing and growth happen when we can integrate both light and shadow.

We learn to acknowledge pian and suffering, recognising that discomfort, pain, and suffering are part of the human experience. Instead of avoiding these aspects, engage with them compassionately, both within yourself and in others.

I hope to reunite my connection with Pam one day. 

Wishing you a happy August …

Jagdeep x     

Calmly and silently my morning routine prepares me for my day. It feels like the natural thing to do. Sitting on a cushion, straight back, relaxed shoulders. Often sitting in one of my adult children’s bed rooms. The curtains drawn. The mood just right and focussing on the importance of my quiet time.     Firstly, I set a five-minute timer and begin with diaphragmatic breathing, watching the rise and fall of the belly through closed eyes. It’s important to exercise the diaphragm, just like the other muscles in the body. You have heard the saying, if you don’t use it you lose it! Let’s not lose it ….       The diaphragm is located below the lungs and is the major muscle of respiration. Respiration is the movement of air in and out of the lungs. It is often described as a large, dome-shaped muscle. It contracts rhythmically and continually, and most of the time this is being done involuntarily. But it can be impeded due to stress in the mind and body, bad posture and lack of training.      Diaphragmatic breathing is the most efficient way to breathe, improving oxygenation of the blood, blood circulation and has a very positive impact on improving mental well-being. It is the most natural and efficient way to breathe, but we often forget to use it as the “monkey mind” wanders and takes us away from the present moment. If we want focus and clarity in our day with its many advantages we must endeavour to make it a habit to remind ourselves throughout the day to use the diaphragm, you don’t have to be sitting to use it!       Here’s a challenge for you: Remember to breathe into the diaphragm when talking, there’s absolutely no need remember to be sitting in a darkened room. Observe yourself, you may notice that your voice naturally drops, slows and you will feel more grounded and composed. The mind will naturally quieten. You know this mind of ours is very prone to making up all sorts of stories and judgments and it needs to be trained through the breathing.        I feel that this composure and stability may have taken a hold into my own behaviour. I’ll give you two examples;      Last October, when I was at the 10-day silent retreat I had an episode about 4 days in, of very negative thinking. My monkey mind started a story that my daughter was in danger of her life from carbon monoxide poisoning in our living room. Btw, I’ve subsequently told her about this. We both came to a conclusion that it was ridiculous. When I challenge my mind, I’m not sure where I have picked up these thoughts from but it felt very real at the time. I noticed I was panicking and had started sweating. But within a space of minutes, it was like I came to my clearer mind and gave myself a few snappy statements 1. If its true what can I actually do? (I was a 3hour drive away) 2. If its true I can be contacted and I will be informed by the course tutor 3. I don’t think its true, I have made it up. I noticed I had gone from panic to calm in the space of minutes      My 2nd example is from this morning; to give you context my morning routine includes a recitation practice which is around 20mins, during this practice an alarming text came up on my phone, it flashed up. I read it. This time it was something that had actually happened it was not made up. But dealing with it was beyond my control. I quickly dismissed it, didn’t let it bother me too much and thankfully completed my recitation. Consequently my day ran more smoothly.      In summary:    Challenge you monkey mind and remember your breath at all times!  Namaste Jagdeep x

This is me aged 14..

Tom Green our art teacher had pointed over to me and beckoned me to his desk. It’s quite a funny thing, but I clearly remember his nicotine fingers and the odour of tobacco from his breath and clothes. My parents were non smokers and somehow the unfamiliar remains and can ignite a memory. The mind so clever that it pieces together A TIME, A PLACE, A SMELL, A SOUND as the senses give us all of the tools to have those experiences again and again! Some will be good and others not so, where we relive the past but also jump into future with our judgements, worries and concerns. In yoga this recall in the mind is known as the Samskaras – the mental impressions, recollections, or psychological imprints that colour one’s thoughts and actions.   Mr Green, peered over his black framed spectacles, looking intently. He said, “I can do your portrait, if you sit still.” I smiled with a nod and obediently sat about a metre away. I froze into a statue not daring to move as he instructed me to keep my spine straight, head lifted, eyes on one point. Sounds a little, familiar don’t you think? At the time, I felt very special. He whizzed his biro over his sketch pad, looking up just the once. 15mins later he put the sketch next to my face to look at the comparison, he gave me a satisfied nod handing me over the sketch and ushered me back to my seat.      I must tell you, I have never been a teacher’s favourite but Mr Green was known from time to time, to randomly extract a pupil from the classroom to act as a model. Practising his drawing portrait sketch skills, always in biro. There was a sense that his practice and honing of skills for drawing were  very dear to him. I think at that time he must have been close to retirement. Yoga has taught me that whatever it is that you choose to do and you know it makes you feel good. It will require practice. Just like Mr Green was practising.    In yoga that practice is known as Abhyasa it has certain characteristics it must be consistent, dedicated and wholehearted. This type of practice will build a steady mind and new mental habits. There is a complimentary principle this is Vairagya translated as non-attachment or letting go. These two principles work together to act like 2 wings of a bird a steady effort lifts you towards inner peace, (that was Mr Green’s practice in the classroom) while the detachment ensures you do not get sidetracked by the ego or specific outcomes (Mr Green gave me the sketch, and didn’t try and judge it in anyway). I think Mr Green fits neatly within these two principles. It’s important that if we are seeking a peaceful and happy life that we are applying these principles, my yoga teacher has repeatedly said that yoga is about all of life, I must admit I just did not understand what he was getting at. Only when we start to live life fully, we start to gain the depth of these time-tested teachings that we could already be living and applying unwittingly, maybe that was Mr Green.  😊 Summary  Definition – Abyhasa – it is the continuous conscious effort to establish stability clarity and peace of mind    The Goal- showing up every day without interruption to establish your polishing of skills    How it works – According to the Yoga Sutras 1.14 the practice must be consistent over a long period, without interruption, and with a sincere, devoted attitude to yield  THIS IS BASED IN YOUR ACTIONS Definition – Vairagya – Non – Attachment. It is the practice of freeing oneself from cravings, expectations and the “fruits” of one’s actions     The Goal-enjoying the process and dedicating yourself to the effort, while completely releasing the need to control the exact outcome or expecting perfection.    How it works – it prevents you from getting devastated by failure or overly proud of success. By letting go of attachments, you reduce suffering and maintain equanimity in the face of life’s dualities (like pain and pleasure)      THIS IS BASED IN YOUR ATTITUDES      I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! Write in and let me know how you may be unwittingly applying these 2 principles in your own life.   Look forward to seeing you on the mat!

I had the opportunity to learn from one of the most prominent pieces of work on yoga, the notable scripture, The Bhagavad Gita referred also as The Gita. Gita means song. I spent several months on line with a teacher who brought the text to life and gave me a greater depth and understanding about life. The story in the song can be placed as a lens of how we are interacting with our own life. 

The course was designed to cover just Chapter 2 over 8 months, it begins with Arjuna the main character and greatest of warriors, full of sorrow, doubt and overwhelmed. It is most certainly a feeling we all have experienced. When life meets us at a crossroads, where there are very challenging situations, an awkward time of not knowing, feeling disturbed, uneasy in one’s self, a sense of loss. The familiarity with these feelings is part and parcel of the human condition. When everything we previously thought we knew falls into question, we doubt our abilities, we lose our composure and our ability to have clarity on a situation. 

In his sorrow, Arjuna’s mighty bow falls from his hands. His eyes are full of tears. He wants to know what to do, he is confused and lamenting. His sorrow is regarded as a prompt for change. We can no doubt remember a time in our own lives  that was sorrowful and alerted us that change was required. The change often requires us to act in a mental, physical and emotional sense. That alert is prompting us “to let go” of attachments “to our past, our future,  to those fears worries and anxieties”  

 Arjuna had always been the number one student in his archery capabilities and skills set, he was shown favouritism by his teachers, he was popular and loved dearly by the citizens of the Kingdom ruled by his father. He was the favourite and dutiful son.

The Gita’s knowledge is revealed to the reader in the beautiful poetry of the Song through the dialogue with Krishna  who is Arjuna’s greatest ally, friend and Guru. The setting is a battlefield in the ancient city of India Hastinapur. The physical thought of war, violence, death of the innocent is a difficult one for many to see it as a place of spiritual teaching and learning. Decoding the layers of the Song, we come to understand that the battlefield is a metaphor for the mind. As the saying goes “conquer your mind and you conquer your world.”

Every Thursday at my yoga class at Derby Arena, there seem to be forces beyond my control of the air con. It has become a battleground. I have repeatedly requested it to be off, as it makes the room too cold and noisy for our calming practices. I have at times been sorrowful, even despair as I have felt no one is listening to my concerns. We all have battles to face and this is just a small example.    

 When Arjuna looks out onto the battlefield, he sees the opposing army consisting of those most dear to him, his teachers, his family and friends. It is in Arjuna’s sorrow Krishna speaks saying that we are never alone, the inner pilot of consciousness, the inner voice, higher power, we can talk to if we can bring ourselves to tune in, be centred and quiet.

When I first met with Yoga it was on the mat, in the physical sense making shapes with my body, getting it flexible and toned. But overtime with great teachers, I came to an understanding that yoga gives us the practical knowledge to embark on a journey of self-realisation.  We all need purpose and fulfilment and this is the journey. 

Krishna reminds Arjuna he must put aside his sorrow so that he can rise up to his potential as a human being and carry out his duty as a true warrior, that he was always meant to be! 

In a sense we can all be regarded as warriors daily navigating the field of action in which we reside. The characters that Arjuna is required to defeat are representative of the characteristics of what is going on inside our minds and it is that what we need to defeat. 

I learnt a difficult lesson here, that in order to get on in life it will require us to detach from things that have been dear in this ever changing world. If we are unable to do so we will be overrun by the forces of limitation.

On a physical level our addictive habits creep in when we are less strong, ambushing us when we are weak. The mind being a creature of all our habits and everything that we have experienced. It is in silence that we can come to exit the mind, away from desires and fears then our true capacities can be realised. This subtle guidance arrives in the silence; in Yoga it is regarded as the divinity within where the gates of the inner wisdom open. It is the wisdom of the deepest part of the heart.  

In this world of action we experience duality, at the core of the duality concept is the idea that everything in the universe exists in complementary pairs- light and shadow, creation and destruction, male and female. These opposing forces aren’t just opposite they are interdependent. Without one the other cannot exist.  For instance, light only becomes meaningful when contrasted with darkness. This balance is what maintains the harmony. The text invites us to cultivate a steadiness by keeping a steady centre. The true magic comes from that steady balance, not from choosing one side of duality over the other. A balanced approach maintains one cannot reject the darkness in favour of the light. Instead, one learns to walk a middle path, harnessing both sides of every duality. This balance gives power to navigate the world of energy without being consumed by its opposing forces and this maintains our steady feeling. 

I hope you have enjoyed reading my small offering of the The Gita, more to be revealed….Namaste     

I got found out …

It was a cold October morning, the year 1983 I had been watching the news the night before, there had been a large protest march in London, Trident a nuclear programme in pretext for de-escalation of war and at the same time we were the studying the text 1984 by George Orwell in our
‘O’ Level Literature class, the novel grasped my mind of its rebellious nature.

At that time, I had some terrorising dreams where I was witnessing a huge explosion from some distance then a large plume of ash smoke, had woken me with a racing heart and troubled mind. We all know that well known vision of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the child burned, running half naked. These are chilling visions that have impregnated our psyche.

A combination of my environment and conscious mind had led me to participate in an unlawful act of graffiti on the school walls.

An act of defiance, my soul speaking to me of the unease and troubled feelings deep down, surfacing into what what thought would be a secretive action. My hands trembling as I chalked the walls at the back of the upper school with a huge circular movement to make the CND motif (The Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament).

I had looked over my shoulder several times to make sure I was not seen. I had not confided in any of my friends, I was unable to explain or express how I was feeling. I just felt troubled, my heart stolen, a raw ache for harmony and peace. I felt horrible on the inside, not from the actions but how the environment made me feel.

Later from my learning in yoga I found the battle to find my steadiness was within, as the song goes, we have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide, any escapism is temporary and we quickly go back to our old patterns of thoughts.

I was scratching the walls carefully over the rugged bricks with chalk acquired from my last English Language lesson, when Mr Broughton had thrown the chalk at Daniel. I recalled the lesson when the teacher had demeaned me in class with racist comments, reducing me to tears. School was not always the happiest of days …

The chalk now a stub, as I was about to etch in the third line. I felt I had every right to show my solidarity for peace, in this way. My breath falling into silence, facing the wall I noticed a shadow through my legs and then suddenly, a tap on my shoulder, it was Mr Kellogg the headmaster.

What were the chances, an unbelievable stroke of bad luck! Even to this day, I question how unlucky I was, my mission was supposed to have been swift. The back of the school being a popular spot allegedly a secret locus for smokers, snoggers and scrappers. So, I never went there. I felt robbed of my defiance and my moment of anarchy for a cause worth fighting reduced to a chastisement without being able to speak my truth, he shook his head looking at me as if I was the enemy.

I felt the pit of my stomach fill with dread, I did not know what would happen next, corporal punishment was still a possibility back then! My shoulders and head dropped, I felt a streak of guilt running into my body for my actions but not in my soul, my deeper self-longed for something else. My act of defiance infiltrated, my heart desire disturbed. Mr Kellogg did not ask any questions and bluntly said, “I have a job for you, come to my office.” There he handed me a sponge and bucket and curtly said “Clean the walls.”

During our yoga training our teacher, maintained the importance to remain apolitical. In principle I have done so as it allows the mind to remain settled, but it does not mean that one becomes robotic, really the opposite happens as your deeper parts of yourself are revealed. No longer hiding as your heart starts winning and the liberation of your soul starts unfolding and then you do not care so much about what people think of you, social expectations and start realising that we are all made of the same particles as the trees and the oceans, gathering a momentum where we can approach our self-realisation little by little, seeing the pulse of the universe mirroring our heartbeat as yoga is an expression of your deepest truest self.

When was the last time you followed your heart and not your head?

Just last week, it was The Spring Day Retreat at Nanapantan Hall, it is nestled in 22acres of the Charnwood Woods a perfect venue for a yoga retreat. During our sessions, we explored what it is to do yoga, we learnt about the cosmic dancer and symbolism of it, bringing our cosmic dance to life. Together we dined and enjoyed the delicious home cuisine prepared by my husband. Seemingly tantalising everyone’s taste buds, it was a lovely sight to see in the dining area. There we had splendid views of the sky, meadows, and gardens.

We prepared ourselves for the wintry weather and trekked into the woods and meadows. We experienced all the seasons in that hour, the blustery rain, hail stones, sunshine. We were unperturbed by it all and found ourselves harmonious with nature, the wild ponies moving gracefully between us, their friendliness and calm a feature of their stature. Seeing us as unthreatening they continued with their grazing. The afternoon session we settled back to learn about sound, vibration, and the energy centres. The sound of AUM filling the air complimented our slower paced session, making our way through the energy centres in colours and sounds. We completed our day with visualisations and a deep relaxation. I am very grateful to those who were able make it!
I have had some wonderful feedback and been asked several times when is the next one! Although it was tiring day as the teacher but it has given me confidence to do more

I hope you will join me for the next one…. Watch this space……

Hello friends,

I hope you are are well, crazy to know its more than 12 months since I last blogged! Time passes quickly, just like you I really don’t know how this year has gone by so rapidly.

Most certainly, we over indulge ourselves during this busy period and become fraught with expectations, our anxieties and worries go through the roof, I often forget to rest. But this word R.E.S.T recently sounded loudly in my ears. This was during my attendance at a 10 day silent retreat, to learn a meditation technique known as Vipassana.

Vipassana, means to see things as they really are, it is one of India’s most ancient techniques of meditation. It was rediscovered by Buddha more than 2500 years ago and taught by him as a universal remedy for universal ills. An important part of the teaching is that it is non-sectarian and aimed for the eradication of mental impurities so that mankind can live peacefully.

The concept & the word Vipassana as a seed was planted within me about 11 years ago it was shortly after I completed my yoga teacher training in Bangalore. My teacher asked me to take on private yoga 1:1 sessions at a nearby community. That’s when I met Amrita; a bubbly lively character, who often gave me nuggets of wisdom. Weekly we’d roll out our yoga mats under the balmy palms which gave us the required shade from the glorious Bangalore sunshine. Lucy, Amrita’s four-legged friend often accompanied her. I look back at those days with fondness.

Amrita had told me about Vipassana and how she was drawn to the challenge of living in silence for 10 days. At the time I had dismissed it, as something that didn’t appeal. Today, I thank Amrita for her inspiration and passing on the Vipassana flame.

When I enrolled onto the Vipassana Course, I recalled those days with Amrita and realized that I’d been watering a seed with my consistent meditation practices and discovered my sister and niece had enrolled at a different time & location. I see these as signals quietly coaxing me on my spiritual journey.

The course required an application process. There was a query around my current meditation practices and teachings. The concern was: A) The potential to mix practices B) The requirement of an open mindset to a new teaching.

I implicitly accepted the terms and conditions laid out. The mixing of practices is forbidden as it can cause negative impacts within the system. I was very cautious to follow the technique. As I did hear afterwards, from one person of a negative impact causing headaches and ringing in ears.

It was quite common for applications to be declined particularly from those suffering with trauma or complicated mental health concerns. The courses are very popular and fill up quickly with waiting lists. The courses are run solely by volunteers, it is free including all our meals, accommodation, mentoring and support. In return you are required to abide by the course rules, you can choose to make a monetary donation but really what they hope for is time back from you as a volunteer so that others too can have the same benefits and experience of Vipassana.

I arrived on a dark and very wet October afternoon at the manor house Dhamma Sukhakari – Vipassana Meditation Centre in Suffolk. This was Day 0 of 10. We received a warm welcome with tasty food, and time to acquaint ourselves with the site, each other & unpack. There was an air of enthusiasm and excitement I could see the participants were from a diverse community and much younger than me . It really was quite striking to see, people in their 20’s, 30’s & 40’s. I thought of my younger self, not having the confidence to embark on such a journey.

We were ushered to quieten and given the course instructions and timetable. We handed in our mobile phones, and in exchange we were given a locker key, there I placed my smart watch and valuables. We were asked to vow to the rule of Nobel Silence and live by the Sila rules;

1.To abstain from killing any being
2.To abstain from stealing
3.To abstain from sexual misconduct
4.To abstain from wrong speech
5.To abstain from all intoxicants

The men and women were separated and everything became quiet. We were given our dorm numbers. I was on the bottom bunk, sharing the space with 2 other women, we were not to talk or touch each other or make any eye contact. We all seemed to follow the rules without difficulty although at odd times our eyes connected and we did reciprocate a momentary smile. Human nature I guess!

Later, that evening we were designated our meditation spot which was a foam ground seat. This very spot would be my home for the next 10 days. I was on the back row in the meditation hall, it had a clean plain look, airy and dimly lit. I counted, approximately 100 people neatly seated.

In one corner there was a mound of blankets & foam blocks to use, to help support a seated floor meditation. Over the days the pile became smaller as we all tried different ways for support and comfort, until eventually the mound was no more! The many hours of sitting using the techniques was very demanding on the mind and body. It definitely required a strong will and determination, which came through to us in the teachings.

Some people asked for back rests, best described as a legless wooden floor seat. I noticed they were quite noisy, since the woman in front had one, the wood creaking in sync with her movement.
A chunk of time at first was spent with just trying to get comfortable and this got easier as the days passed. It’s important to note that the course tutor encouraged floor sitting and only with good reason would you be given a back rest. People with disabilities, injuries were able to sit in chairs.

I found that if you were paying attention and being neighborly an unwritten rule applied whilst meditating, that you were being quiet not only for yourself but for the those around you. Any movement was done quietly, the blowing of noses, coughing and sneezing echoed in the hall. I do remember a particular person, who would purposely every so often make the loudest nose blow. I guess it was attention seeking behavior! As a rule for myself I started blowing my nose before I entered for meditation. On a funny note, one time there was a loud fart which echoed around the hall . I wanted to burst out laughing, I tried to contain my laughter but it started hurting my sides and snowballing, I hurriedly left the hall so that I could just get it all out.

On a more serious note, there were a few occasions when the weeping cries of a man echoed throughout the hall, sending a chill down my spine. There was an intensity to the practice that we were learning. The intensity became stronger over the days spending 7-8 hours meditating. As each day passed fewer people were coming into the hall, evidently some guests had left. At no time did I feel I wanted to leave, each day was a blessing to learn. There was support from the course manager for practical help and the meditation teacher for course questions. I asked about the meditation technique a few times. I was also counting the days down and thankful I was feeling ok.

I did have trouble sleeping the first 2 nights, I think it was the intensity of the days. I notified the course manager, it was suggested that I be given a heavier meal as the last meal
at 5 pm was just 2 pieces of fruit with a warm as drink. All the food was vegetarian. I was told that if my sleeplessness continued, I would be required to leave. I noticed a pit in my stomach, that was the last thing I wanted, thinking of all the time and effort put into getting myself there, I really didn’t want it thrown away. Now that I was here I wanted to give it my maximum effort. I did decline the offer of extra food as I didn’t want to be given preferential treatment over my peers. I kept thinking, I must sleep tonight!!! And on cue, that’s exactly what happened!

Our days started at 4 am, there was a wake-up gong, it also called us for breakfast, lunch, tea & meditation. We lived by gong-time. I was often awake before it sounded, my room mates had also set their alarm clocks at 3.55 am. There was no way, we could sleep in with the ringing of alarms & the gonging of the gong!!

The earliest morning meditation was 4.30 am-6.30 am, over the days I found this was the one, I preferred over all the other timings, 7 hours of meditation over the stretch of the day and lights were out by 9.30 pm. The session would begin with a beautiful chant by the renowned Vipassana teacher Mr S N Goenka. The words sang in the ancient language of India, known as Pali. He would often end the session with the words “now that your work is done, go rest… rest… rest.” His appearance was shiny and it was evident he was an enlightened being. We would leave for breaks sometimes just 10 mins returning to start all over again.

In the meditation hall there was no clock and I didn’t have my watch. My meditation sitting time became dependent on my mind and body endurance and the sound of the Goenka’s chants and the gongs. Many times it felt like eternity.There were aches in my shoulders, my right foot would go numb, there was a throbbing in my collar bones, the lower back in agony and in particular excruciating pains felt in my right butt cheek. And yes believe it or not these courses are always full!!!

Goenka’s instructions was to remain objective, to observe the sensations in the body, whether they be pleasant or unpleasant. I have to say I never felt the pleasant ones! The advice was to remain seated but reminded not to torture oneself. There were certain times when we were given permission to meditate in our rooms, I did on occasion take advantage of this but mainly I stayed in the meditation hall. We had rest periods where we could enjoy the outdoors, we were lucky to have so many sunny days and the colors of autumn were vibrant. We would walk within a boundary and pass each other in silence , absorbing the rays of sunshine and observing nature. The silence allowed the mind to settle.

I found myself testing myself to stay seated for longer and longer periods,the Vipassana meditation is a body scan. Starting with top of the head and working through the body, stopping at any sensations and then continuing to move the awareness through to other body parts and then continuing the body scan from the feet to the top of the head and then back again, and continuing the same over and over again, the process/technique is to silence the mind and using the rigor of the body scan. The technique is to eradicate defilement’s of the mind to harmonize it and bring it to equanimity.

I noticed at times how the body became very hot and this too was observed. The words of Goenka was that the sensation will dissolve, that every sensation in time dies. But I found most of the times the sensations were stubborn and lingered. During this process the mind wandered over and over again and my mind did go to very dark thoughts.

When I left Derby my husband was travelling to India and my daughter was home alone, she is an adult now but as parents we seem to have an incessant habit of worry for their safety. Usually I would be tracking my husband’s flight and know that he had safely landed, all the mod cons of technology give us a commentary of whereabouts. I was able to ease my mind about the safety of my husband as he often traveled and knowing that he is a very competent traveler. But for sometime I couldn’t let go of my irrational mind telling me terrible things had happened to my daughter, but with strong will and determination I turned around my irrational thinking to rational thinking. This expansion of awareness was my greatest revelation for silencing the mind.

Over the 10 days, we got into a routine and where we would gather in the foyer of the mediation hall just before 4.30am. The October mornings, were dark, wet, cold and dreary. Often needing our umbrellas with the torrential downpours. I was glad to have brought my raincoat and boots. We gathered in the foyer before the allotted meditation time, it often felt we were waiting to embark on our days work. We were not compelled to remain in the hall we could at any time walk into the beautiful wild gardens within the course boundary,

The instructions for the mediation, was given to us daily and repeated many times in Goenka’s friendly voice which come over the speaker, it became a loving encouraging voice. He often would make fun of himself and joke around and this beautiful enchanting voice would at times send tingles and goosebumps into the system.

On the 10th day it was time for us to speak and be integrated back, it felt spontaneous talking again, those faces so familiar we had so much to ask of each other, names, where from, what do you do, family, the experience etc… It was lovely to see teeth and hear talking & smiling faces. Many I had sat opposite in the canteen, looking into space, not uttering a word and negotiating with the silence.

The first person I spoke to was a young woman who had sat on the left of me during the 10 days . Our eyes met a few times days, but we didn’t speak until the 10th day when our Nobel Silence ended. Alisa told me that it had been her 30th birthday during the discourse, I was astounded and wished her a belated happy birthday, I expressed my thanks to her for being such a peaceful, quiet and calm presence which had helped me in my daily sittings. I told her how I had felt that the silence became golden. She smiled and returned the gratitude towards me saying that she had felt the same. We both hugged one another, breaking our the rule of silence.

Thank you for reading ….and… wishing you a wonderful 2026.

Happy Birthday to me!! 59 today! Another year passes & grateful I have explored and becoming more in tune and wholesome to who I am, inner peace, an equanimity,
inner harmony and inner love. So well done to me, I am grateful for this day and for being blessed with my wonderful family, friends & many friendships created from seeing you on the mat each week. This past year, I have seen a shift in myself. I have most certainly sought after it, since the turmoils on this sacred planet never cease, the flux and flow is part of existence, within it if one can surrender to it and find that steadiness that can be nurtured, slowly step by step into the vastness and so I have spent many hours, you can see from the photo, it is in my sons bedroom, here meditating, daily recitals, learning from the epics Bhagavad Gita and Ramayana. I am learning the yoga of living in great harmony. The epics have brought me gifts of steadiness Thank you to @jamesboag for bringing these epics to life. I certainly feel I have stepped my toe into the ocean of richness of these teachings.
The flavours of the poetry and the storytelling was so compelling, at times jaw dropping. Each week intrigued to learn more about the wonderful teachings of yoga. Each week to delve a little more and as @james calls that process of excavation, who knows what will be uncovered!
photo credit: a selfie it is contemplation.

As the world has become more and more polarised, wars continue in vain, famines, poverty, the illness into our life from institutions & governments, the climate chaos all continues. Learning to remain in the centre and doing what you can, it will always be there and it has always been there.

Another important teaching for me from my teacher @Manishpole would always say, ‘we are our own best experiment’ with this as a mantra I have been able to carve into past behaviours with the teachings learnt, and patterns that were toxic and to be free of them is liberating. Last week I spent 10days on a silent retreat, vipassana learning the teachings of Buddha through the dhamma organisation the Nobel silence was a work in, each day a challenge starting at 4am with a routine to learn to meditate in Buddhas way, for Enlightenment. The long hours of mediation 9hrs each day was a huge challenge in mind, body and spirit, the sitting was challenging, but over the days the body became stronger, a self determination was built, the mind observed and totally irrational at times. The pains in body, the body heat and there was an anxiety. Observing irrational negative thoughts were battled with and were extinguished. It has been an most interesting inner work and feel the gifts & that the mind has shifted in many ways. I look forward to my 60th next year and 60’s who knows what will be excavated!!!

Me and Dad, India March 2025

Hello friends, 

Hope you are well! It’s been sometime since my last blog, hope this one finds you in good health and spirits. 

Thursday afternoons, I usually spend with my father. We always have some yoga banter, Dad’s usual rhetorical question“ How many were in your class today? ” This leads us to exchanging numbers and our positive praaphanllia of thoughts, telling each other, “That’s good, very good, better than last week, some newbies” leading us with our rapid fire of thoughts and opinions of anything we considered to be helpful to one another. 

The time together, I do cherish. Particularly, so with him soon turning 93, on the 10th of September! 

Just recently, he told me, that his classes at the Indian Community Centre had gravitated to the kitchen. Since the roof above the main hall had fallen through onto the stage, it had now been several weeks since repair works had commenced. Dad had been goaded by some of the ladies wanting the classes to recommence, he explained it was difficult with the roof repairs. One of them suggested we do it in the kitchen, dad thought we could give it a go! 

As he was telling me I was intrigued who were these ladies I asked, who would go to the lengths of contacting him and wanting to have the classes in the kitchen, if I’m honest not the most inviting places to do yoga. 

I’ll apologise to anyone that is offended but he bluntly said, “They are 6 fat ladies! ” Well I wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh, given his age and his standing in the community, my mind raced, give  him some slack and guided him to the use of more acceptable terminology, “Dad, don’t you mean they were on the larger side and not quite a small or medium build” of course this is all down to our interpretations. He agreed with me, saying “Not fat, but larger.” At this point, I laughed 😂

But as the years have passed with teaching, there are some body shapes that have a better affinity with Yoga asana. If I explain this a little further below: 

The sister science of yoga is Ayurveda, which introduces the concept of the dosha meaning body types, it states there are 3 body types, Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. These body types have different characteristics but will overlap with each other by a certain ratio. But, it is quite possible to have a dominant dosha with its characteristics. There are several quizzes that you can find on the internet, and they will work out your dosha. See below 👇

Your dosha will give us an understanding of ourselves so that we can recognise when things are out of kilter and learn how to bring them back to balance. Intrinsically, Ayurveda teaches us how to keep the doshas in balance. 

Take the quiz here https://www.joyfulbelly.com/Ayurveda/body-type/Dosha-Quiz?ref=2114646

The 3 functional body types of doshas: 

1. Catabolic – Vata – individuals tend to break down body mass into energy. 
2. Metabolic – Pitta – individuals tend to burn or use energy. 
3. Anabolic – Vata- individuals tend to store energy as body mass. 

Catabolic people tend to be easily stimulated, hyperactive, underweight and dry. 

Metabolic people tend to be rosy-cheeked, easily irritated, focused, driven, and easily inflamed. 

Anabolic people are heavy, stable and grounded, but if they store too much energy, they could gain weight easily and have congestion.

An animal analogy : 

• Vata = bumblebee – constantly searching and on the move
• Pitta = tiger – lounges and then ‘attacks’, quickly use a lot of energy; sharp and smart
• Kapha = elephant – slow-moving, affectionate in nature, patient

Along with acknowledging that we cannot be neatly divided into categories and that we all have certain elements of each dosha within us, it’s also interesting to note that our dosha may change throughout our lives. So, rather than over-focusing on which dosha we are, it’s helpful to instead consider where we are on the spectrum so that we can try and maintain a sense of equilibrium and balance. 

There are various ways to rebalance your dosha : 

1. Yoga Asana 
2. Foods 
3. Overall well-being is treated with opposites—cold is treated with heat, dry with wetness, lightness with heaviness, and so on.
4. Essential oils 
5. Massages 

10 YEARS!!!!! I was prompted of our 10th year teacher training anniversary by my yoga colleague and training partner, Purnima. She posted on social media, “10 year anniversary”tagging me. My first reaction, where did 10years just disappear and why hadn’t I put it in my diary? A frenzy of congratulation messages followed, our Yoga Training WhatsApp group tied us. It was most certainly a very significant life changing period in my life.

Later, checking my old yoga teacher training journal from 2014, dusted off after retrieving it from the loft. I sat for a good hour reading, smiling and laughing of days gone by. There was one afternoon, when Manish said, “I have surprise for you all today.” We being a group of 6 women, from across the globe looking at each other excitedly, the previous days had been long on the mat in the heat of Bangalore, with buzzing mosquitos ready to draw blood. So it was certainly most unexpected. He told us, “today you’re watching the Matrix.” I recall him playing a recording on a video, and not of the best quality!

We all being fans of Keanu Reeves we didn’t question why and what was the connection with our yoga training.

We felt it would be an easy 2 hours, and happy with some relaxed time, with the blinds drawn blocking out the intensity of the midday heat.

We sat in a row on a very upright, hard wooden very uncomfortable seating. Manish had always said the worst invention of the 20th Century was a sofa. We thought this was probably his version of modern living!

We were sort of half way through the film and during that time had tried our best but had failed to find a comfortable position; and then the electricity went down! This we had all become accustomed, these irregularities were part of everyday living. By then Manish had left the room but reappearing. In some ways we were grateful for the energy surge as we could stretch our legs off from the wooden seating.

Manish said, what connection did you make with yoga; I wasn’t sure but Esther, gave a very good repertoire, something like “that humans have the power to change their fate, take individual action, but also make mistakes.” You may have your own take on this! But we all agreed with Esther and were pretty happy the Electricity went down and able to leave the discomfort of the seating and to continue in the studio the next day.

I recalled that at that time, I was still very much a yoga novice in my physical practice and barely knew anything of its rich heritage. Actually it’s very embarrassing how little I did not know, not just about yoga, but about myself. At that time I was aged 47!

Even when my father trained as a yoga teacher at 77, I hadn’t shown much interest. Retrospectively, it makes me think .. WHY??? Although, it was festering in the back of my mind and only when we as a family went to live in India, living in Bangalore for a total of 3years that I knew I would search out yoga 🧘🏽‍♀️. At that time Dad was 83!

There was most definitely a curiosity within me, to seek and learn how to live a more fulfilling life! The 200hr teacher training has given me the tools to do just that!

The training was devised by my teachers Manish Pole and Neetu Singh. It was a 4 week intensive training, Monday- Friday 9-5pm and Saturdays 8-1pm, followed by an optional apprenticeship teaching several classes in the week.

I really really wasn’t up for teaching classes at first, shying away when asked by my teachers for volunteers for teaching. I would try not to catch my teacher’s eye for fear of having to stand in front of a group and lead a session. I often would try and not be picked for speaking in a group, I have to say, I have many traits of an introvert. My fear would get the better of me, waking up in the night, with a knotted stomach, dry mouth, quick heart beat and frequenting the loo with loose motions because of my lack of confidence and nervousness of just the possibility of having to lead a group.

So thankful today, I am no longer that person, I have had a transformative experience and I know this journey is on-going and very fulfilling.

I give thanks for the encouragement of my teachers, especially Manish, guiding me with team teaching and yoga beyond asana and to the wonderful Neetu for pushing me way beyond my boundaries. My peers, especially Purnima. We often would be selected to attend events and I would always say, ‘you do the talking and I’ll do the movements.’ Overtime, I have gathered a momentum and a love for teaching. But it definitely didn’t happen over night and for that reason, I have a deep gratitude & appreciation for my teaching time. It is and has been an absolute privilege & joy 🙏🏽😇🧘🏽‍♀️#manishpole #neetu_yogi #yogabypurnima

The sun was rising that cold November morning, as I peeped out from behind the curtains, my eyes still heavy. I noticed a frost kissed garden. Outside, the trees were still bare. As I looked into the long garden at the back of our home. I could see my father’s spindly figure, his face turned into the direction of the sun & upwards into the skies, I looked at him bemused. His arms stretched overhead, his bulbus eyes wide open. He stood there for sometime. I became concerned at his motionless being…. What was he doing ?

 

Little did I know decades later I would be learning something similar. But, later that day, I spoke to him, he said he was absorbing the sun rays, actually the term in Punjabi, translated was ‘I’m drinking the sun.’ My father has always been a funny one and at that time as a young girl, thought nothing more of it!

 

But years later , as a mature woman I had the opportunity to learn about the ancient wisdoms bestowed in Indian culture, learning  Hatha Yoga. Ha means ‘sun’ and ‘tha’ means the moon I learned that we have within us the moon and sun energy and these energies have different characteristics – also known as the Yin & Yang . The moon energy The Devine Feminine is cooling, the creativity, nurturing, intuition & empathy. On the other hand the Devine Masculine – is the Sun, the heat, strength, action. Both these are within us to different degrees, they need to be balanced in order for us to live our lives with magnificence, joy, passion, fullness where you blossom and start to understand and know your inner self.

 

Thank you Dad, for being an amazing energy, living life at 91years with a balance of the moon & sun – with magnificence, joy, passion, fullness, in blossom